when Ritsuko times out

What is this feeling I’m getting in the middle of the night?

Today I went to see a friend of mine I haven’t seen for (she says it’s been 7 years, I insist it’s been 5) years. X years ago, we met at an NST Reporters’ Workshop. For some reason, our memories of each other stuck (including that infamous Taufiq, but let’s not talk about him) and we met each other every now and then.

The KL Monorail was jam packed. I had to let the first monorail pass, and I made a mental note to stay in front of the damn crowd. No wonder everybody rushes to go to the door even when the passengers haven’t disembarked. The KTM was even worse. People were pushing like hell, and it was really packed. Definitely the worst experience ever, as I told her on the phone. I can’t fathom why these people don’t just get a car or something. Sure, you’d still be stuck in the jam, but at least you wouldn’t be so cramped.

When I finally got out, I had to find my way to her college. Damn, it was far. I got there eventually, and figured that this is not good. Sweat was streaming down my body, rendering any intercourse with her tainted by the smell of my sweat. This would not do.
So I sat down, and pulled out my trusty PSP. Within a few minutes (I have no idea how long, the PSP makes hours seem like minutes) she was here. She looked… just the same, but better than ever, for some reason. It must be the blouse. It must be.

I met many of her friends at the college. It seemed they were a close-knit community, and the food was definitely good. More races studied at her college than I had imagined. She even introduced me to her boyfriend. He seemed a good enough guy, if a bit distant. He left straight after the dinner.

What is this feeling I’m getting in the middle of the night?

She had many kinds of friends. Tall, short, skinny, huge, plain fat, relatively large, and they were very friendly. VERY friendly. I was really surprised thanks to my experiences at UBC – nobody knew each other, everybody just walked past each other on the curb, and generally they were only friendly when you talked to them. Here? They were friendly, without a question. THEY approached YOU. Suddenly, I found a very faint urge to study at this university, and threw it into the Spam box.

You know, it seemed that when I mentioned that I was her friend, they all seemed… really friendly. Kind of how that Japanese girl and the French girl who knew me said hi, and the girl who walked behind them whom I didn’t know at all just had to say hi to me too… except without the self-serving part, and they were really friendly. I doubt I’ve even talked to so many new people in one night before. I felt that – maybe, just maybe – I was a friend of a really incredible girl.

What is this feeling I’m getting in the middle of the night?

The concert was the apex of the night, but really, I couldn’t believe how many times I turned around looking for her. When we left, I didn’t even say bye to the girl who accompanied me to the concert in the first place. That was really rude. I have to apologize somehow, although I’m still not sure what to say. Perhaps I should just say nothing. This is ridiculous.

I spent a lot of time there, apparently. This is probably the second time I felt shortchanged by Time. The first time was… 2-3 years ago? It felt as if I was being told to go sleep early, that I had always stayed up until 2am before, but what? now I’m going back at 11pm? I felt as if I had passed 12am with her many times before, and indignant that we were actually walking to her house.

Then we parted. Did I exhibit myself well tonight? As a respectable Friend? Or did I appear too shy and reserved? Thinking all the time, I ran back to the KTM station, for I heard the last train would close soon. Arriving too late, I trekked back to Carrefour and ordered some food while I waited for my dad to arrive. Here, then, was a person I could pass 12am with, even though he would usually fall asleep by then. Here was a person who would drive all the way out to Subang to fetch me. Here was a person who wouldn’t leave after dinner. Here was a person with whom I never really had to part with.

What IS this feeling I’m getting in the middle of the night?